janar_lacerra (janar_lacerra) wrote in swrp_naboo,

A Child

Sometimes, I do not understand how people can still call me a child. I do not wish to name names, but I feel like I must. Shalee. She seems to be my main antagonist. For years now I have been trying to do the right thing, to help others. All she does it worry about what dress she is going to wear, or how horrible it looks. Not to mention the little fantasy world she lives in. Yes, I use to live in a fantasy world, it was wonderful, until reality hits you. I try not the wish bad things onto people. But I hope reality hits her soon. She lives in her palace, she has never lost a love, she has never been hurt by love. She doesn't listen to the people who care the most about her. I care and I try to warn her of things, but it doesn't matter. Its all coming from Ja'nar. 

Ja'nar knows nothing of the real world. Ja'nar has lived a sheltered life in the palace and only gets what she wants by throwing a fit or begging her family to allow her to do it. That is not true. I have been working so hard lately. The Senate has been difficult, everyone is fighting but me it seems. I am trying to go about things rationally now, but it doesn't work when everyone else around you is irrational. The Children's house is almost done, thank Duma for that. We are already over capacity at Theed Memorial, The Palace, and the NSF hospital. It will be nice to get most of those children out into the country side a bit, out of the city. I think they will be safer there too. Most do not have families, so the hospital staff has became there families.

Dumamas just finished a few days ago. I got a beautiful necklace from my little niece, Naria. She is such a doll. She made everyone one. I have yet to see Shalee wear it. It probably doesn't match any of her gowns. I spent my senator salary on presents for the kids down at the hospital. It was nice to see them all so happy. It was hard shopping for them though, but each gave me a list and I went and got it all. It was so much fun! They were so happy too. I have been at the hospital I think everyday for the past few months. Its hard at times, but its so rewarding when you get to see their smiles. I wish I could adopt them all! Most are orphans. I guess I kind of am, with the new hospital. For the school, I was so happy to get Arthur Maciga to be the head master...He is a brillant man, and use to teach at Naboo's Royal Academy. But I stole him! These kids will be set for life, and actually be able to make something out of theirselves. Its a honor to be able to be a part of it.

I miss the old Shalee so much. She was kind to me. She cared about me. This new one...She hates me. I try so hard to make my family proud. And I can only fail. I don't want to fail. I just hope Shalee realizes that. Realizes I am very uptight because I don't want to fail. I failed at being a daughter, I failed at being a girlfriend, I failed at being a mother. This is my time to prove myself as something and I will.

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